When she did her Glamour cover shoot a couple years back, Allison shot a video where she shares some tips on being the ultimate girl’s girl.
This is life advice that doesn’t go stale so I’m sharing it for those of you who missed it.
Learn Allison’s approach to being a good wing woman and what it means to having your friend’s back.
The coach says:
If you’ve never done this, ask your bestie this important question:
Seriously, am I good friend to you?
OR, put another way…
What are some things I do in our friendship that I could work on?
OR, yet another way…
What are some things I do as a friend that you really appreciate?
Having this convo over wine or in a relaxed atmosphere is best. It goes without saying, don’t have it when you’re estranged.
- Be in the right frame of mind for this discussion.
- Keep an open mind and don’t get defensive.
- If your friend shares a concern, say, “I didn’t realize that. I’ll pay more attention and if you can, point out when I’m doing it next time.”
- Don’t interrupt with challenges and digging questions. A simple, “Can you share more about that? will keep the topic on track.”
- Don’t just focus on the negative things. Give high-fives for the positives she points out.
- Don’t turn the tables around and tell her the qualities you don’t like about her; this is about you and for you.
- See this as a gift — and with that intention, hopefully, you’ll be relaxed and your body language will give her permission to be forthcoming and compassionately candid.
- Sum up what you heard and hug it out.
End the chat by thanking her. This is an unusual exercise. Not many people do it so acknowledge that it’s unusual and thank her for doing it. Thank her being a great / good friend to you.
It’s not just our intimate relationships that need work. In fact, our friendships deserve even more effort since partners don’t often stick around as long as our friends do.
Christine is a lifestyle coach living in Los Angeles. Using systems, routines, and some psychological trickery, she can help almost anyone hack their mind and life for greater productivity. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to find out if she's available for one-on-one work.