Our inner dialogue determines how comfortable we are speaking up and expressing ourselves. And as you might suspect, if we’re too much in our heads, that makes us less comfortable.
You’ll notice that engaging people are at ease with new people. Their body language is open, they look people in the eye and appear “present.” They’re not in their heads and have what we call, presence.
If you’re working on being more engaging, Charlie Houpert from Charisma on Command has six mindset shifts to help you open up and be yourself. He points out…
When you get the mindsets firmly set in place, all of those things that are surface-level [tonality, eye-contact, etc.] tend to just flow easily.
The coach says…
PRACTICE BEING PRESENT
It will take time and practice, but it’s completely possible for you to develop charisma. You will need to recondition your mind and slowly — over time– everyone will notice you’re more at ease, your smile is more natural, you ask more interesting questions, you’re not interrupting to make your point.
Believe in yourself
If you are to have the type of presence others find easy to be around, you must work out your insecurities before you even walk into a room. In other words, you won’t have it if you’re plagued on the inside with insecurities. What I’m saying and what you’ll hear me say over and over again: Believe in yourself.
It is so important and crucial to your mindset. Then, when you’re in social settings, model these behaviors:
- Smile and look people in the eye.
- Listen twice as much as you speak.
- Really SEE people so you can give genuine compliments.
- Appreciate the little things — around you and about the person you’re talking to.
- Check in with yourself every 2 hours.
- Read more than you watch TV.
- Put only “must-dos” on your to-do list.
- Exercise daily and do physical activities.
- Keep your posture straight.
- Dress well.