They say there is nothing worse than when life gives you lemons… but don’t you think there is really nothing worse than you giving yourself the lemons?
After a royal fuck up recently, life seemed pretty bleak…
I decided I had four options:
- Blame someone else.
- Leave for Mexico.
- Face the music.
…So…you can now call me Pablo…
I jest… I stuck it out and tried to face the music. I won’t go into details, but it was hard! Naturally you (and your friends) will want to go for YOUR self-preservation so you come up with anything to justify or excuse your mistake.
But will that fix anything? Will it bring you peace, help you heal a friendship or repair a trust? No-way-ho-zay.
Sometimes, the best thing to do when you’re wrong is to face the music…to suck it up and say:
“I made a mistake, can you forgive me?”
Especially when it’s ourselves that we need to forgive.
Because the sooner we face reality, the sooner the magic can begin! The sooner you can repair the damage (if you can) or learn from the mistake (hopefully).
Yes, that’s scary.
Yes, you wish you could go back in time.
Yes, it’s hard to think ‘everything happens for a reason’ when for the life of you, you can’t figure out what that reason is.
But it’s O-K because these experiences leave us with opportunities (AKA gifts)!
- Change: Without mistakes we wouldn’t know what to work on! They create an amazing opportunity to look at our patterns and see what we need to change.
- Strength: Imagine Britney post-2007. She could have hidden away, beaten herself up and let her breakdown define her. Instead, she returned a stronger woman…it made her go off and find BAD ASS BRITNEY! Mistakes, when we own up to them, can do that for us.
- Compassion: Accepting that we’re flawed can make us more forgiving of others. It can remind us that we are all human…and mistakes are part of the human experience.
- Perspective: A team of psychologists at Cornell University found that subjects wearing an embarrassing T-shirt (of Barry Manilow’s face) guessed that twice the number of people noticed their embarrassing T-shirt than actually did. This thought process is called the ‘Spotlight Effect.’ It means that our minds think our mistakes are far worse than they actually are. So after you stop weeping, step back, look at the facts and relax with a glass of perspective.”
After it all, ultimately what I learned is this:
It’s OK to fuck up!
What’s not OK (for yourself or those involved) is to drag it all out. If you have the conscience to feel bad (that’s good…it means you’re not a total asshole); go deal with it so you can move on. Don’t stick around in guiltville because guiltville is a crappy place to make a home.
LIFE…If you’re not making mistakes you’re not doing it right.
I don’t know if someone is credited with this exact quote but it sums up my point. On the whole, life is crazy and stuff will happen that we regret. But fucking up is usually a good thing and retrospect is usually the server of that perspective.
Now if you think about it, how glad are you now that it didn’t work out with your high school sweetheart? When, once upon a time, THAT was the apocalypse, right?!?