He/She loves me… he/she loves me not.
A cute game, but maybe not a great way to tell if your partner really loves and respects you. Fear not, relationship coach Mat Boggs has a few ideas about how you can do that. Boggs says that if your relationship has these 7 traits, you can relax… you’re in a loving relationship.
Here’s what Matt says you should look for in a loving relationship
- You both make and keep agreements.
- You have clear caring communication.
- You honor your differences.
- You acknowledge and praise each other.
- You touch and comfort each other regularly.
- You act like teammates and show loyalty.
- You actively listen to each other and feel heard.
What if your relationship doesn’t tick off these boxes?
So, what does it mean if your relationship doesn’t have, I’d say, at least 5 of these traits? I say at least 5, because, well, some partners may not be big on praise, for example, but supports you in other ways so that overall, the relationship feels solid. In which case, your relationship may be just fine (and loving) with just the right 5.
And if it’s lower than that? Well, then you have work to do. It’s not merely a question of whether your relationship is as healthy as it should be, but also whether you’re with someone who values healthy relationships and is willing to work to ensure you two have one.
Without a healthy body, mind, and spirit, we don’t become our personal best. The same goes for our relationships. If they’re not healthy, if they’re not growing, you won’t grow and thrive either. So, while I’m not here to alarm you, it is cause for concern if you’re both unable and unwilling to work at your relationship.
Without the effort to grow and thrive, we remain stagnant; unable to ever realize the fullest expression of ourselves.
Christine is a Life Strategist living in Los Angeles. Using systems, routines, and personalized methods, she can help almost anyone hack their mind and life for more joy and greater productivity.