S(he) loves me… s(he) loves me not.
A cute game, but maybe not a great way to tell if your partner really love and respects you. Fear not, relationship coach Mat Boggs has a few ideas. Boggs says that if your relationship has these 7 traits, you can relax… you’re in a loving relationship.
- You both make and keep agreements.
- You have clear caring communication.
- You honor your differences.
- You acknowledge and praise each other.
- You touch and comfort each other regularly.
- You act like teammates and show loyalty.
- You actively listen to each other and feel heard.
So, what does it mean if your relationship doesn’t have, I’d say, at least 5 of these traits?
I say at least 5, because, well, some partners may not be big on praise, for example, but supports you in others ways so that overall, the relationship feels solid. In which case, you may be good.
This is not just a question of whether your relationship is as healthy as it should be, but also whether you’re with someone who values healthy relationships and is willing to work to ensure you two have one.
Without health of body, mind and spirit, we can never become our best. Life and relationships (including our relationship with ourselves) takes work to grow and thrive. So while it’s not cause for alarm if you don’t have at least 5 of these qualities in your relationship, it is cause for concern if you’re both unable and unwilling to work at it.
Without the effort to grow and thrive, we remain stagnant; unable to ever realize the fullest expression of ourselves.