A lot of the time, what holds us back and make us doubt ourselves is thinking that we’re fundamentally different from successful people — aka those people who seem to have their shit together!
The truth is, as the guys from The School of Life will tell you, they’re just as neurotic and flawed as anyone else with their own anxieties and OCDs, sexual hangups, regrets and heartbreak.
People who have what is called the Impostor Syndrome, usually have an unhelpful picture of what other successful people are really like.
They have one of two unhelpful mental preoccupation.
- They worry that they’re not as knowledgeable in their field as others might think, and
- They believe that because they had help getting to where they are, that means they didn’t earn it ALL on their own, and so are less deserving of their success.
Watch and see if you’re carrying around the “Impostor Syndrome,” the fear of being exposed as a fraud.
- Ask 5-10 successful people how confidant they are in their accomplishments all of the time. Post a question If you don’t know that many successful people, you may post a question on a forum like Quora.
- A good follow-up question to ask if you have the opportunity is, How much of your success do you attribute to support or help you got from others?
Even if you’re correct that your accomplishments are overstated, there’s a lot you can do to make up for it:
- Put in the work now to continue learning and growing in your field.
- Give back by volunteering, mentoring or teaching.
- Be extra generous in showing the people who helped you, how grateful you are.
Chances are though, you earned your place in the sun and have as much a right to be there as anyone else.
Either way, a clear mind has no space for unhelpful thoughts like these.
Christine is a Life Strategist and Emotional Health Coach living in Los Angeles. She's big on meditation and believes in systems and routines, and in personalizing everything you do to help you get where you want to be.