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The person you really need to marry

The person you really need to marry

#Smart #Witty #Insightful

That’s how I would describe Tracy McMillan and her relationship advice.

So if you know me you know I’ve spent my adult life in two big cities–New York City and Los Angeles. Dating in these and other big cities is more challenging than dating in small towns for a number of reasons; a couple common ones are that one, people in big cities prioritize their careers and two, having too many options make it harder to make a decision.

Since my divorce in 2015, I mostly haven’t wanted to do the dating thing and rarely put myself out there. That is another big reason many of us are single. I want the relationship but I don’t want to do the dating to get the relationship. I’m warming up to the idea of using a matchmaker. And of course, if you there’s a special Cupid, Genie or app that can pick the RIGHT person for me, I’ll take that too! The way I figure, if someone else more insightful did the choosing, they’d pick up on things that are important to me that I keep missing.

If you’re one of the many who shares these relationship dilemmas, then you’ll want to hear what McMillan has to say about the person we need to marry. 

Hint…You already know him/ her.

Let’s put a ring on it!!!

Or as Tracy said:

  • Commit to ourselves fully.
  • Build a relationship with ourselves to the point where we realize we’re WHOLE right now.

I enjoyed this talk a lot for the humor and insightfulness McMillan naturally exudes. My favorite takeaway from this Talk is this:

Loving ourselves exactly where we are is the only way to get where we’re going.

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Powerful relationship (and life) advice if you ask me. If you agree, join me in asking yourself these questions and ponder your answers over and over until you know them to your very bone.


Self-Love Exercise

  • What could you love more about yourself?
  • What thoughts about relationships do you need to let go of?
  • What are the qualities you absolutely need in a life partner?
  • Of these qualities, which ones did you keeping missing in your partners?
  • What can you do, starting now, to build within yourself the qualities you want in someone else?

We are whole and really don’t need a man or partner to become whole or joyful. Life can be a joyful experience for anyone– even a single person and as McMillian puts if, we’ll never feel whole until we learn to love ourselves just as we are. I don’t know about you, but these insights are giving me real relationship goals.


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