Everyone has the ability to build mental strength, but most people don’t know how. It’s a skill that takes time and sometimes, great effort. We spend a lot of time talking about physical strength and physical health, but much less time on mental strength and mental health.
In this Talk, psychotherapist Amy Morin talks about three bad habits that hold us back and shares how to perceive life in a way that strengthen our mental muscles.
Her personal experiences with tragedy and expertise as a therapist make this one a potentially beneficial talk to watch. Morin share the three unhealthy beliefs and bad habit that make us less effective and rob us of our mental strength.
- Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. Those magnified self-pity where you feel put upon, that you’re the only one who experience crisis and hard times.
- Unhealthy beliefs about others. With this habit, we give away our power. We think others are causing us to feel bad or “triggering” us and forget that we’re in control of our emotions. The other person behaved the way they did and while we may not yet have the emotional maturity to stop ourselves from feeling bad or insecure because of the feelings that were triggered, we have the control over how long we hold onto that.
- Unhealthy beliefs about the world. When we think that the world owes us something, we’re always wanting more and never satisfied with what we have.
The coach says:
Pick one habit to work on starting now. My suggestion is always to start with a step you can see yourself doing now, i.e. meet yourself where you are. That way, starting now is absolutely doable. For each of the three habits, I’ll share a single first step. To take these further, you’ll need a more comprehensive and personalized plan than we can get into here, but it’s my hope that you see the change and want to take the next step and the next until
1. Unhealthy belief about yourself:
When you wake up, greet yourself in the mirror with, Good morning you!
- Stand straight, shoulders back and legs spread slightly apart.
- Look into your own eyes with the wonder of your 4 – 7 year old self as you remember him or her.
- Smile and keep smiling until your smile is genuine and deeply felt.
2. Unhealthy belief about others
- When you look through your friends’ social feed, be happy for them and fight the urge to feel resentment. The pleasure you take in their fortune, will let fortune know that you’re ready for your share.
- Examine the envy you might feel. Sometimes the green monster popping up is not bad. If it’s a reminder that there’s something you’re not doing, let your friends’ happiness and success motivate you to work harder. Call her up and ask for advice even.
3. Unhealthy beliefs about the world
Get into the gratitude habit. If you’re the “keep-it-real” type, you may balk at this advice and think it’s all about wearing rose-colored glasses and not being honest. Far from it, practicing gratitude is one of the most honest things you can do. When you do, you’re acknowledging that the world owes you nothing and that everything you have is gift; yes, even the weave you paid for with the money you earned. It’s all a gift. Be grateful and unhealthy beliefs about the world will begin to shift.