Be Well Emotional Intelligence

Why have a gratitude practice

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Here’s something you might know but keep way-way back there in a small drawer in your mind that you rarely open: When you spend too much time thinking about what you don’t have, you close yourself off and aren’t as open with people and end up missing out on opportunities–think social invites, career connections, promotion opportunities, money-saving deals, and on and on.

As you’re out in the world walking around looking burdened, and as you lay holed up in your cubicle trying to do the bare minimum (because “these mofos ain’t paying you enough!”), consider that the energy you’re sending out, could be costing you a contact, a potential relationship or a promotion.

Why choose gratitude

Being grateful for the things and situations we have, even if they’re not perfect, make us feel more hopeful and have the energy to make what’s not perfect better. Being grateful is tuning out the critical “Not Enough” station that plays in most people’s heads and unconsciously leads to self-doubt, fears, anxieties, and worse, depression and stress. By providing positive emotions, like contentment and joy, gratitude helps to drive out bitchiness, fear, and lack. And we can all do with less of those emotions, can’t we? Try feeling bad when you’re grateful. You can’t. Ha!

Gratitude changes our luck

This lucky more hopeful spirit makes us more proactive and productive. But, we first need to acknowledge what we have, not just think positive… That’s where having a practice comes in. Without practice, it’s easy to forget and go back to our old thought process. Without a gratitude practice, we may forget that we’re part of a great big universe and that the little things we get hung up on, are not that important in the big scheme of things.

The science of gratitude

In two studies with 243 total participants, those who were 10% more grateful than average had 17.5% more social capital, meaning people liked them better. But of course! Gratitude has been found to help us live in the moment more and improve our mental and emotional health.


Benefits of gratitude

SOCIAL
  • More social and outgoing
  • Kinder
  • More friendships
  • Deeper relationships
  • Healthier marriage
EMOTIONAL
  • More good feelings
  • More relaxed
  • Less Envious
  • More resilient
  • Happier memories
PERSONALITY
  • Less materialistic
  • Less self-centered
  • More optimistic
  • Increased self-esteem
  • More spiritual
CAREER
  • Better management
  • Improved networking
  • Improved decision-making
  • Increased productivity
  • Goal achievement
HEALTH
  • Improved sleep
  • Fewer illnesses
  • Longevity
  • More exercise
  • Increased energy

What to expect

Hopefully, I’ve convinced you that having a gratitude practice is worth your while and you’re going to give it a genuine try. Yay! A couple things keep in mind: Your practice won’t always feel “right” Some people report that when they first started their practice, it felt weird and inauthentic; not quite them! By sticking to it though and making it their own, they were able to minimize or eliminate a number of issues like anxiety and insomnia.

The practice doesn’t magically block bad experiences When everything is going wrong in your life, you might question the value of your practice. How come I’m grateful and my life still has ups and downs? It’s natural to question whether it’s worth it. The practice doesn’t eliminate bad experiences and bad feelings. It makes it easier to deal with them. Stressful situations and days are part of everyone’s life, but those who ride the wave calmly, make their journeys easier.

How to start your practice

  • There’s an app for that! Entrepreneur, health coach and model Miranda Kerr use the Gratitude Journal app every day, and I’m sure you can find other apps if technological assist is something you like, or if for you, that is an easy place for you to start.
  • Go low-tech If you suffer from anxiety or have sleep problems, you may NOT want to use an app. The low-tech approach of writing (journaling) or gratitude meditation may be more beneficial for you.
  • Schedule it A great time to schedule your practice is right before you go to bed. Just don’t wait until you’re SO tired and ready to pass out to do it. You should have enough presence for your practice to be effective. I do it as part of my bedtime routine: I do a 5-minute gratitude meditation and when I have the time, combine it with reading. It’s one of my favorite ways to end the day. Instead of focusing on what didn’t go right with my day, I think more on what did and feel better for it.
  • Test drive a gratitude practice, take Vurb’s Gratitude Challenge

Quotes on gratitude:

Gratitude is the recognition that life owes me nothing and all the good I have is a gift. ― Robert Emmons

Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life. — Oprah Winfrey

Often people ask how I manage to be happy despite having no arms and no legs. The quick answer is that I have a choice. I can be angry about not having limbs, or I can be thankful that I have a purpose. I chose gratitude. ― Nick Vujicic

Every day, I like to wake up and remind myself to be grateful of the simple things. — Miranda Kerr

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. ― William Arthur Ward

In ordinary life, we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. ― Dietrich Bonhoeffe

Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.” — Jim Rohn

One last note

While practicing gratitude is highly beneficial, pretending you’re not hurting when you are, isn’t. There’s a difference between making a big deal about normal and manageable situations and ignoring important feelings, gut instincts and the need to change or speak up for ourselves. Practices like gratitude will help you develop the emotional energy to stay clear and present during stressful times. It won’t necessarily help you become fearless, but it will help you to fear less.

xo


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About the Author

Christine is a lifestyle coach who believes the way we live affects everything we do, especially our motivation. She's also a mindful living educator living in Los Angeles, California.

(2) Comments

  1. Pauline says:

    I definitely will take the challenge. Thank you for being here (or coming back). I forgot how much it helps me to have a spiritual practice.

    1. Christine Jary says:

      Thank you for the kinds words, Pauline. Pease have fun with the challenge too.

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